maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
