i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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