remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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