She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
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