i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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