White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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