sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
