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just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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