I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
