i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
