He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
