Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
