On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize