Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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