I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
