if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
