in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
