dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
