never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize