Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
