exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just googled if crying burns calories
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
