So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Randomize
