Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
