I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
