Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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