i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
