after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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