u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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