Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(240): View more from Maryland

We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer

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(641): View more from Iowa

since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.

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(253): View more from Washington

Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....

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(713): View more from Texas

I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes

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(281): View more from Texas

seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.

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(251): View more from Alabama

You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.

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(912): View more from Georgia

I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.

(1-912): View more from Georgia

How did you come to this point in your life?

(912): View more from Georgia

Good bartenders.

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(815): View more from Illinois

What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.

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