My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
smell my finger.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
