I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
How many fucks given?
0.12846
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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