I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize