just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
