You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
