im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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