Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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