I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
