Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
