Kiss
Puke
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
