Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
