No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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