you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
