next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
