I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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