me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
