I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
