I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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