You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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