I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
