you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
