If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize
