i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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