In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
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