if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize