i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
40s are totally the cure
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
