We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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