Princesses don't give blow jobs
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
