I want to stick my p in your. b.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
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