We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
