Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
