Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
