At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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