it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
