i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
